Today at church we had a peace rally against violence in Chicago. 36 school aged kids died this year because of violence in this city. 36! One is too many. To encourage the kids to have a safe summer, we handed out hotdogs on the front lawn, had games, had some community organizations with tables, and then held a rally and peace march around the neighborhood.

It was wonderful and it got me thinking. I love the feeling I get at events like this. We come together as a community and pray. There is laughter and there were tears. Events like this leave me feeling so good and I question why I don't feel this way more often. There are three big areas I see that are present at these events that I feel are not present in my everyday life.

First, there is community. This is a huge one. People come together and care about each other. We joke and laugh. I made friends with a little girl who's name was Fatima today. I'm pretty sure didn't speak much English, but she'd smile at me and come and talk to me all day. I had a man joke with me while waiting for his hotdog. He didn't speak a word of English and I very little Spanish...but we laughed and joked anyways. I love standing on the corner handing out food to anyone who walks by. Why don't we do this more often?

The second thing stems from the first. This community is diverse. I get so frustrated in my daily life. I hang out with a bunch of rich, white people. Today we had the whole spectrum of colors with people speaking multiple languages. There were rich and there were poor. But no one knew who was who. We were just one community.

Finally, there is spirituality. Faith does not have a huge place in my life and I miss that. It's something I'm trying to understand but feel really lost about. I used to be really into church and my faith, but I don't like that person I was then. I judged people and didn't care about justice. Those are huge things and I have ended up associating my faith with those things. I know that that's not right, but I do. I need to work on reclaiming my faith. I love how we come together to pray and sing and it's just normal feeling.

My goal is to work to incorporate these things in my life more. I know it won't be easy and it will be uncomfortable at times, but I think if I can bring these things into (or back into) my life, I will be a much happier person.

I want community.

Right now I feel as if I live alone. For many, this would be an ideal situation. I get privacy and can do as I please as I am often the only one home. This has it's advantages, but it's also incredibly lonely. I am a social person and need other people around me.

This is why I am so excited to live in an intentional community next year. I have wanted this for years. I want someone to ask how my day was when I come home and I want to ask someone that too. I want people to share my same values and who want to take on projects with me. I want to eat dinner with a group of people.

August can't come soon enough.